Hi there!

I'm a little better now than I was in my first journal. It has gone to worse though. Shortly after posting I found myself obliged to go to therapy. You'd think this is a good thing, right?

Well. Imagine me sitting there, in the office of the therapist (by the way, that place looks too much like Maresfield Greens 20 - which was Freud's place), telling of the things that have happened in the past week: my hallucinating/hearing voices getting worse, the increasing effort it costs me to distinguish reality from dreams-especially in the morning-, the complete and unexplainable exhaustion, the fainting, the fears,... A plethora of things.
And then there is a silence, and I start staring at the carpet. Bad idea. BAD IDEA.
The carpet started moving in front of my eyes, like one of those kaleidoscopic images. And I felt like being drawn in. And then there is darkness. I don't remember anything else, but it was no unpleasant feeling, probably why I didn't try too hard to fight it. What WAS unpleasant was that I suddenly heard footsteps around me -while in darkness, mind you- and felt something in my neck. A spider. I screamed out loud and suddenly all was visible again, and I still felt the spider in my hair so I went all spastic, trying to get the -imaginary- animal out of my coiffure. Only then I took notice of the therapist, who was staring stoically at me, and then asked what had happened. AS IF I KNEW!
Apparently my little narcoleptic incident did clear my head, because after my fear of non-existent hair infesting spiders had passed, I was capable of continuing the conversation rather lucidly.

Now what do you people make of that?
My mother starts to doubt if she actually wants to cut my medication dose in half, because she's not sure it won't make my psychotic tendencies (TENDENCIES, she used that word!) any worse. Hah.

I'm still terribly tired, but the tiredness is covered by something else, the sort of unusual increase in activity that comes up with the sun going down. Might upload a strange drawing xD
Help me hope that I'm not going psycho again, my parents won't survive a second admission I'm afraid...

Love,
QP